Where would I be?!

It's been awhile since I've typed anything on this blog. And I can't say I was too busy because I honestly don't know what I've been doing! So many things are happening at once! I have a tattoo of a cross on my upper left arm, and I am currantly hanging out with Michael, my morning friend at school, now my close cousin's boyfriend, and my future roomate! So yeah, alot has happened! I'm still unemployed :( but I will still try to get a job! I have been working with my uncle occasionally, and he has been paying me, which is a big help. I have money to pay for the first few months of rent! Right now I feel scared, and everyone tells me not to worry, but it's hard not too! Where would I be in the next month or two?!?! I have no clue!!! :(

What if he lived?

What if he lived? Would I exist? My mom thinks I would, but I believe that it may altar the future of them going to San Fransisco, which sadly I found out that's where I got conceived. So would I exist if Michael (the name I gave him) stayed alive?

The reason why I'm going on about this is because right now I'm having doubts with myself and I wonder if Michael would have been better. If he would have been more successful. I bet he would. I bet he would have been great. Instead I feel like I took his place and I'm screwing it up!

Even though he's my older brother that never had the chance to see the world, I still love him and feel very close to him. Maybe because he's my only full blooded brother. No half, no Step. Same mother and father. Why did my mom have to Miss-carry? I have know idea! They say things happen for a reason. So why would Michael have to die and then I appear a couple years later! And on top of that, why was I born then got so sick that I should have died with a high killer temperature, and then lived, being cursed as a warm blooded person who doesn't get along with the sun!

So why didn't Michael live? Oh, in case you didn't know why I named him Michael, it's because when i was little, I use to have an imaginary friend that I claimed as my older brother, Michael. And my mom thought it was weird because I was to young to know about her miscarriage before me.

So even though he never saw the world, I believe he's watching me and I'm living for him. And even though we haven't officially met, I really do love him.

So yeah, that's it.

Ok, right now I feel stuck...

How am I stuck? Well maybe because the last time I typed a blog, I was still in High School! I wasn't even 18! Now I am an 18 year old graduate who feels stuck and scared! What should I do?!?!?! Should I even bother to run out side and scream in the sky saying "HELP!!!!!!!!!!"

I miss my Aunt Kristi and my Uncle Randy! I was with them a couple weeks ago in Lake Forest, California! It was a graduation present from them to fly down there! And it makes me miss them so much now that I'm back! I wouldn't even mind living with them and try going to college down their! I would so ask, but I'm scared too! If only they read my blog (sigh). =[

I'm Sweating like a pig and I have a minor cold, oh and I keep telling people I'm dying and they get rather annoyed of it. But for some odd reason, I have been feeling different. It's really hard to explain, but I feel like I'm going through some bazaar process, like a change. Maybe I'm turning into a Werewolf! That would be so awesome! Or maybe I'm just a guy that has read to much books and has too much fantasy on his brain! Ha ha I am rereading Eclipse before the movie, so maybe that's why I'm so odd. Yes I am indeed a Twilight fan, somebody shoot me!

Well I think I'll be done for the evening! Who knows when I'll be typing another blog!

So take care!

It has been a while...

Guess what I'm doing! I'm at school! In class! Doing this on my phone! Because I'm bored and we all have a study period except those who are taking AP Government tests! Yuck! So yeah, I'm just chilling in the room listening to music. I would read, but I finished the book. Hmmm. Well it's just 9 dayz away tell I'm 18! Scary! Seriously I'm kinda flippin out about it!

Well I guess I didn't have much to say so yeah.

Piece out!

Alex :)

Jobless sucks real bad! :(

I need to put my A-double S into gear! I've applied to Safeway multiple times, no call. So done with that! Maybe I should try to search for jobs out of town. I mean, I know my check would go to gas, but I'll be out of high school in just of couple months, and then ANCan get more hours. I could stay home for a 2-3 days of school, and then the rest could be for FT work for the other 4-5 days! So maybe I should try! Still, money would go to gas. But maybe it could go to other stuff. Hmmm I DON'T KNOW! This is depressing! I don't want to grow up!!!!! :(

Guys arn't supose to like these things... but that soap and shampoo smelled nice!

Yeah I know, again i'm a weirdo. But we are all weird in our own way so... yeah. Whats everybody doing? I have know clue! I look out the window and notice that the snow on the hills havnt melt all the way! Um, I could of sworn it was spring! Winter should be over! But what can we all say, this is Oregon. So those who are new here, well, WELCOME TO OREGON!!!!

It's easter! And I havn't had on piece of chocolate yet! Where is the chocolate?! I do not know! But right now I want a bunny! You know what makes sense? It's that the day after easter, all that candy and chocolate will be alot cheaper! So hmmm, a big bunny for less than $2 or $3 sounds pretty ok!

I am going to have a nice dinner made by my step mom though. It smells so good right now! Mmmm!

Well peeps, I guess thats it! If anyone actually is reading this, well, try to find a way to let me know!

ByeZ

from Al3x!

Mmm love!

I'm happy because I'm talking to my girlfriend! I'm odd, I know! And whats funny is that I'm listening to "Two Is Better Than One" by Boys Like Girls and Taylor Swift! How romantic! lol I'm a goober!

This picture describes her!



I would have put a picture of an angel, but I couldn't find one her pic! (lol I know, I'm smooth.) ;)

College, blood, and dad fighting with step mom! (good topic title, eh?)

Ok about college, I have to fill out an application for Columbia Gorge Community College (cgcc) because I may have to take Writing 121 and Math 65 (yay!) Then later on I may go to Portland Community College (pcc) so I can study for Librarian Assistant! Yes I want to be a librarian! And a writer! Because I am a big book worm! And I want to work with books! So yeah! Ok sorry I lost it there for a sec. Besides filling out the application, I also need to search for scholarships! So yeah, i'm going to have a blast!

Mmm blood! Just thinking about it excites me! Hahaha I'm just kidding! Or am I? Hmmm, it makes ya think, huh? Ok just kidding again! I'm going to sign up to donate blood at school! I'm actually excited about it! Not because there will be tons of blood bags everywhere, because just knowing I'm helping excites me! If it all goes great, I may do it alot more often! It won't be to scary for me because I'm (sadly) use to getting my blood drawn. You see, I get these unusual weak spell that I've had for 6 years, and the doctors (which should be professional) could never figure it out! And the take enough blood from me to make a clone and put it all in there! So yeah, bring it on needle and large blood bag that needs filling!

Dad and step mom fighting over kids (not me!). You see, that had plans. They were talking about moving to Hood River in a smaller house after us kids are gone! Well my step sister, who has moved out, moved back in. And she brought her dogs with her too, and now her boyfriend who she stops dating once in a while. So my dad is getting sick of it and fought about with my step mom. I guess I could understand why they could be unhappy. I mean, how would you feel if your kids are almost out of the nest and your wife/husband, or even yourself, thought of things you wanted to do! Like travel, or live somewhere elles. Retire maybe. And then your kids come back and thoughs options are gone! It would be depressing. My dad is 53, my step mom is 49. It's just that they have their own lives and they could do things they want to do together knowing that their kids grown and matured on their own!

Ok, well I guess that's it!

From Alex! :)

The most cool yet odd thing happend today!

It's April 2nd and it snowed! And not just a snow that comes and then turns to rain seconds later, more like snow all morning and piled up on my car! It melted quick though later. Thank god becouse just a few days ago I got my freaken snow tires off! My girlfriend was happy though, and if she's happy, I'm happy! We hung out all day watching some movies, and she couldn't help looking out the window to see how it's falling. Right now I'm at my dads waiting for Easter! I don't know what's going to happen but I believe something will! So yay chocolate! Lol ok my peeps (teehee) I'll talk to ya later!

Mmm don't we just live in a large round ball like structure thingy? You know, the kind that grows odd green structures and make large water flow freely? And there is life surviving on it, big and small.

Today is the last day for spring break! :( I don't want to go to school! Even though there is only two months left of it! It will probably fly fast! Ugh! Prom will soon be here and I'm scared because 1) I can't afford it! 2) I hate dressing up! 3) I don't want to make my girlfriend upset! So blah blah blah!!!

Back to earth! You know what song was in my head when I saw this picture? It's by Coldplay and I think it's called "Beautiful World." it's short but I love it! That song fits when you got to the coast!

:( I wanna go to the coast now! My mother came back from the coast up in Long Beach, Washington. I maybe going to the California coast, but it's not the same as Oregon.



Something about the sea makes me believe anything can happen. Like fantasy can become reality. I must read alot because I will admit I almost convince myself that's all real, but staring at the sea makes me say...it is.

Sincerely
Alex Bloom

Turn off the lights!

Dear hopefully a light conservor

Today is earth hour! Please turn off lights at 8:30 pm for an hour! It's easy! Light candles, pretend the power went out. Play PSP or Nintendo DS, the screens do light up! Or you could have everything off except the TV, and your family could watch a show for an hour! Just find a way people! When we were little, an hour seemed forever! But us older ones know it's almost like 10 mins.

I hope tons of people will be participating around the world!

Sincerely
Alex B :)

What to type?!?!?

I have no idea on what to talk about! I'm at my sisters laying in bed in the dark listening the sirens going off somewhere in the distance on Portland, Oregon. Or at least...I think I hear them. But yeah, in Portland at my sisters, staying a 2nd night because of the terrible weather and my cousin doesn't want to drive in. I really don't blame her. Driving on the freeway up The Gorge is scary when the wind blows hard and rain is pouring, going through that in the dark! So yeah, I'm at my sisters again. But my cuz and I will leave early because she works at 11:00 at Safeway. I wish we had time to go to Starbucks! Mmmm yum!

The bed I'm sleeping on is so comfortable! If only it didn't screech loudly each time you moved a single muscle! Terrible! It's like nails scratching on a black board!!!

Well fellow readers I'm saying good
night! Theirs only 3 days left of spring
break!!! :(

Just listen, you may hear something. Even though it's pure silence.

Dear future saviors!

Have you ever just turned the TV off and sat in complete silence and just let your hearing senses go? I do that allot. Then, you start hearing all sorts of things that you wonder if their just in your head, or real somewhere. I believe that us humans are capable of doing things that's in the category of "impossible." I mean, what about stone henge?! How was that created without any type of machinery?! We are an amazing race that's capable of creating, saving, and destroying! Sadly, their may be tons more destroying than creating and saving. What if we all gain that power to do more than we think? We could change the world! If I had power, it would be used to save our world! Right now I'm sure their could be people reading this saying, "why does it matter, we all are going to die anyway." Do you want to know why it matters?! Because how would you feel knowing that all your children's lives were horrible because things got worse for their future! Someday, I may want kids! But if I were able to see into the future and know that our world is coming to an oblivion, I wouldn't even consider bringing a child on earth just so she/he has to deal with it!

You want to know why I bother "blah blah blahing?" Because I sense something about myself. Don't ask what, but I do! And I feel like I was here for a reason! For many years, I've day dreamed about changing the world and sacrificing myself to do it! I even will admit I prayed to god for me to do it! On Saturday, March 20th, I found an app on my Iphone. It was an app that told what your name ment. I looked up Alexander and the deffinition was "protector of mankind!" That got me thinking a lot! And also that's when I thought about this blog!

Right now, I'm not sure if anyone is reading my blog, but to be honest, I don't really care! Becouse I know I'll somehow become powerful and reach out to others! I'm still young, I've got plenty of years to do it! But if you are reading my blog, I ask you to please leave a comment.

-their was life once here
-human and nature were friends
-now it's dark, silent

Sincerely

Alex Bloom

The odd me!

Dear Reader

Ok I must be odd considering the fact that when the stupid toast popped out of it's toaster, I jumped! Why are toasters evil when you don't give them attention? I have no idea! So I wonder if theirs a book called "How To Train Your Toaster: For Dummies!" that actually would be interesting. I may just buy that book. Then as I ate my Delicious, buttery, yet evil toast, I watched Marley And Me and cried at the ending! :( It me think of my old dogs, then I cried more. Oh yes, I am indeed a cryer!

Guess what I found out!!! Earth hour is Saturday, March 27th at 8:30 PM!!! Here are some tips your family can do!

- watch a movie or Tv together for one hour with all lights off!
- pretend that the power went out and light candles and play board games.
- or you could, if you have too, leave one light on and you all could read a book!
- if you have portable devices, such as Nintendo DS's, or PSP's, and Laptops, play with them for one hour!

Really guys, one hour is not a big deal! You can do it! Getting up to turn lights off takes the same energy to get up and make something for yourself to eat! Yes, it's that easy! You know, my mom is gone for spring break, guess how much electricity I'm saving since she's gone! A lot! She's so blind, when it's lightly dim, she can't see a thing! I'm the opposite! She also gets cold fast! Again I'm the opposite! So I turned down the heat a little, then I make sure I use light when I need it!

So guys, I'm asking you all to please, pretty please, please please please with a large strawberry on top (cherries are over rated), turn your lights off on Saturday, March 27th, at 8:30 PM!

Sincerely
Alex B

The Reason...

Okay, the reason why I placed "change the world" to describe this blog is because I seriously day-dream about me doing that. Almost like a super hero but better, I wont wear a dorky costume, or give myself a name. I will simply end things. Such as war and pollution! Not only that, but I feel that I'm not normal, we all aren't normal. I believe in this so much it's as if it's true and real! Have you ever felt like you were sent on earth for a reason? Asked yourself "why was I born?" Well that's how I feel. Let me tell you a story.

My mother had two kids, Angie and Ricardo, my older half siblings. My father had two kids, Matt and Jeremy, my other older half siblings. Then my mother and father met and had me! I have no full blooded sibling, so I thought. My mom once told me that a little more than a year before I was born she miscarried a boy. He was only 3 1/2 months early. Later I was born and got a little older and (I have no memory of this) but I use to say I have a older brother named Michael. Hmmm odd. But wait! Theirs more! When I was born, I got terribly sick with meningitis. I ran a fever of 107.5! The doctor has never seen someone living with that temp, let alone a baby. The other weird thing that I found out a few months ago is that when my mom miscarried Michael (I still call him that), she said she never got to see him. The doctor just said he'd died. So now I wonder what if I have a full blooded brother out there! Either that, why I live and he not? And would I exist if he lived, since my dad ended the "having children thing" after me?

Their are a lot of things that I feel and sense, and see. But I won't get into that right now. Has anyone read the "Maximum Ride series" by James Patterson? It teaches you about Global Warming. Well I do believe that this world could be on it's way to a big ball of nothing! But I also believe in 2nd chances! It's not just our earth, its our government and economy and oil loss and a tons of crud! Let me ask you this, whats the most beautiful thing you have seen in this earth? Something so great, you want your kids, grand kids, or whatever to see. Now imagine it gone! All gone!

And if you don't care about any of this? Then why did you take the time to read it? And if for sure you don't care about it, then don't bother to comment. You can go back and pretend everything is OK, but deep down, you know it's not.

As you see... this is a blog. And this where you say, "um, duh!"

1st of all, I'm not counting this as my 1st blog post. This is my Start Off post!

Why did I start this blog? I have no idea what so ever! Maybe because all I want to do is ramble on about my life and other things and want to here from people and hope soon someday my life will go on an incredible and interesting journey! But don't we all kind of wish that? Right now I am turning my head to right to see what I see outside our window. I see our metal barn that was built for horses, goats, and pigs which we haven't had for years. I see the rear end of my car, which is a 1989 Mercury Sable with a Maroon kind of color (and it's not just the outside of it too, seats and all are that color). I see the clouds covering the top of the hills. It looks like its going to be a moist, rainy day. Just now, my dad was going on and on about a glass piece that won 3rd place that I made. My teacher entered it in an art competition that I didn't even know of, and they announced me winning in a assembly that I chose not to attend. Yeah, I thought that was pretty cool, and now its displayed in the glass cases in the entrance hall. A couple weeks later, apparently I won prize money from it, 10$. Yeah I know that's not a lot, but when your broke with no job, it comes in handy. Another big surprise was it was placed in the news paper! And my dad found out because my uncle had read it! So yeah, I guess that's cool.

Back to talking about this blog! I may go on and on about things you may not care about. But the reason why I started is because I want to become a writer and this will be a good way to write and practice more! So if you choose to read about my life, or some stories I may come up with. Go right ahead. I am hoping I could meet new fascinating people on this too!